Virginity is a thing of the old, a musing of the past! By Bolu Daniels

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[Analyses]–Mention the word and eyes would strangely focus on you! In primitive and contemporary times, the usage of the word connotes sacredness, its object focused on females and its discourse totally based on religious and moral spirituality! Several decades ago, some people who now lay abandoned in graves (and are now referred to as forefathers) gave virginity (a dictionary term) a moral and spiritual undertone and since both religion and morality are intertwined, the society ostensibly has a strong foundation in both structures in their perspective of the term, “Virginity”.

Contextually, a virgin simply refers to a person who has never had sex in his or her life prior to when he or she decides to have it (after marriage of course). Religions like Islam and Christianity view virginity as “that state of being of a person, whereby he or she has never had sexual intercourse before; i.e. somebody who is still pure, clean and holy”. Morality likewise in the society views a virgin as “a person who has not been in penetrative sex before”. What is the common denominator amongst these three perspectives? It is simply the recognition of the fact that a virgin is that person, who has never been in any form of sexual exercise before; somebody who is deemed pure, clean and holy! Deductively; a virgin is not supposed to have any form of sexual experience or knowledge whatsoever owing to the supposedly defining abstinence from anything sexual! Am I correct?

Oya come to my time (this period where I am living as a youth) and see an absolutely flabbergasting upturn of the piously held beliefs and tenets of Virginity. Shey you will say a virgin is someone who has never had sex before abi? Well, I know some virgins who have been phucking since their childhood days but hymen never break (how they did it, and have been doing it still baffles me)! I am friends with some girls who only indulge in anal sex and they will always claim virgins; even I myself cannot argue it out with them! The interesting thing is a whole lot of these ladies call themselves secondary virgins. This means, that they are virgins who have sex but can still be termed pure because their hymens are still intact!

I was speaking with one of them on WhatsApp few days ago and during one of our routine sex talk, she revealed a shocker to me about her perspective on virginity! This babe (name withheld) claims that in as much as she doesn’t get pregnant and her coochie doesn’t get slack from continuous shagging, then she classifies herself as a virgin.

She further opined that virginity as a concept has been overrated and misconstrued in our society and as such, nobody should blame her or any other non-virgins for their decision to shag recklessly! Strangely, I had a rethink about the whole virginity thingy.

How many ladies can boldly come out to claim that they are virgins? When I mean virgins, I am referring to the societal description of the term; holy, pure and clean in sexual matters? Never had sexual fantasies? Never seen porn or adult movies? Never masturbated or gotten wet before? Never touched a John Thomas before or probably ‘mistakenly’ brushed it on an unsuspecting guy?  Never seen a Man naked before? Do not know what missionary or doggy style is called? But for real, this just shows that there is nothing like being a virgin anymore! You either are sexually inactive (never had sex yet) or you are sexually active (had sex or almost having sex or is knowledgeable about sex and its entirety).

Now, let’s add a twist to this! Since the society would instinctively refer to the female folk whenever the term virginity is used, is it safe to assume that males are exempted from the whole virginity talk or should we just simply assume that premium focus is placed on female virginity more that the male virginity? I agree with the latter premise but I have a somewhat differing perspective on it. Why ask ladies (females) to keep themselves pure for their husbands (males), whilst males having sex before marriage is an issue seemingly inconsequential to (in) the society?

Why are ladies who have had sex before marriage seen as sexually unclean and guys who do the same are termed macho? Who coined these words ‘slut’, ‘dog’, ‘prostitute’, ‘olosho’, ‘ashawo’, ‘ashi’, ‘ashana’, ‘animashaun ‘ etc and reserved it for ladies who are sexually active and indulge in premarital sex (for diverse differing reasons)? Even though these ladies would primarily claim that they are out hustling (unfortunately, through their cookie jars) for their survival; yet they are ridiculed and ostracized by the society! Why, because they are not “pure, clean and holy”? Because they are not males (whose sexual activities doesn’t seem to bother the societal standards) abi? What happens to the people who patronize these ladies? Are they not males with third legs? Are they not in the same society? The same society that says virginity is paramount and important for the people living within its confines?

As an individual who has had it rough with a lot of societal dictates (which I find it hard to comply with), I am definitely not going to support the movement that virginity should only apply to the females alone, with the males being cut some slack! Never!  If the society terms virgins as sexually pure persons, then there should be an unbiased viewership of who is a virgin and who is not a virgin! If a lady decides to have sex before marriage and (or) with as many persons as she wants, then the same degree of scorn, ostracism and unabashed reprimand (administered on her) should be meted out to that guy who engages in premarital sex with as many ladies as he wishes (even if it is just a single lady) by the society. There should be no bias, no segregation or gender induced classification!

Wait first, which living person in this society would claim oblivion to sex, porn, masturbation, and fantasies? I mean, in this technological age where access to global pornography is just a click away; where sex is a part of our daily lifestyles; where masturbation is being medically regarded as healthy and prescribed for better sexual lifestyles; where mere sexual fantasies and wild thoughts form the bedrock of teenage interpersonal chats? C’mon, who is fooling who? Who is being left in the dark about sex and its whims and caprices? Who is getting stale and primitive? Ladies who have been having sex could just go for Hymenorrhaphy! Lobatan, Case Closed! Guys who have been having sex could simply deceive anybody with a change of physiognomic demeanor & bodily carriage and case closed too!

Hey Society, listen up! A lot of people no longer care whether the religious laws or societal norms allow them to have premarital sex or not and they do not care whether virginity still exists as a dictionary term or as a societal guideline. They now have sex with whomsoever they like, however they like it, whenever they like and with a great number of different styles too! So Dear Society, if you still view sex and virginity as a million-dollar jackpot that everyone struggles to win, Oops! With these rapidly advancing tech in a dynamic environment, forget it; virginity is gradually becoming a thing of the past!

BOLU DANIELS

Follow on IG: @Bolu_DanielS

 




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